Falling Off The Writing Wagon

I’m participating in Stream of Consciousness Sunday. This is where you write about whatever comes to mind based on a prompt by the host, Jana. Or you can write about the topic of your choice. I’m going to use Jana’s prompts. You just write for five minutes, no editing or spellchecking. As one who used to edit for a living, that is going to be impossible. I’ll give it a good shot, though.

Today’s (totally optional) prompt: What have you fallen out of the habit of doing (or not doing)?

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Since the beginning of the year, I’ve picked up some pretty good habits. I’m eating less and exercising every day. I’m at the point where I don’t miss a day of doing some kind of physical activity. As a result, I’ve lost 29 pounds and I’m still losing. That’s a good thing.
But in finding time to exercise, I lost my writing time. In order to get my exercise in, I get up around 5 in the morning. Before January, that time was reserved for writing. I’ve fallen off the writing wagon.
I want to get back on. That’s why I’m here today doing this Stream of Consciousness Sunday. When I saw the topic, I knew exactly what I was going to write about. I’ve barely touched this blog this year. I had a goal of writing something for it every other day. I had a goal of adding interesting features to it. As you can see, that hasn’t happened. I know I have a novel in me somewhere. I’ve even started one, but I can’t even remember the last time I worked on it. All I know for sure is that it hasn’t been in 2013.
It’s time to get back to who I am as a writer. Oh, I still write, but it’s for someone else. Nothing wrong with that–especially since it’s a paying gig–I just need to do a lot more for myself.
Maybe I should make a goal to enter a contest. It has something that I apparently need to write: a deadline!

Why I Love Charles Ramsey, Sweet Brown, and Antoine Dodson: The 21st Century Griots

Just in case you’ve been living in Antarctica with no access to the Internet for the last few years and you’ve missed these YouTube sensations, I’ve embedded video of what they’ve done for their 15 minutes of fame:

There was a time when seeing people on TV like Charles “Dead Giveaway” Ramsey, Sweet “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” Brown, and Antoine “Hide Your Kids, Hide Your Wife” Dodson embarrassed me. It seemed like every time something went down in the ‘hood, the local news outlets would find the most snaggle-toothed, ig’nint, do-rag wearing fool to interview. I know many black people who had, and still have, that same feeling. Part of the embarrassment comes from knowing that people of other races—particularly white people—are watching the same news clips we are, and everybody knows that when you see one black person on TV, he or she represents all 42 million of us in America. I’m being sarcastic, but there really are people who paint all black people with the same broad brush strokes—almost always negative.

Whenever I became friendly with a white person, questions I used to get asked by some are, “Why do black people say ‘ax’ instead of ‘ask’, like fried chicken, talk so loud, wear their hair ‘like that’?” Each question was more ridiculous than the one before it. Sadly, they are legion. Try Googling “why do black people” and see how that question is completed for you.

When I first began seeing these amusing news clips, I used to wonder what the big deal is. I was born and raised in Gary, Indiana–a city that is about 85% black. Other than college and a 4-year stint in California, this is where I’ve always lived. I’m surrounded by people who speak in colorful catchphrases. I talk and act like this from time to time. (My non-black friends would be surprised to know this about me. There are times when I wear the mask.)

Even though people have pointed their fingers and laughed and used Charles, Sweet, and Antoine purely for their entertainment, I understand that they didn’t wake up the morning of their life-changing events looking for their moment to shine. They were just living their lives when someone with a camera came along and wanted their stories. In the telling, they had the courage to be exactly who they are. I love when people love themselves enough not to present a façade that has no connection to who they are at every other moment of their lives.

Don’t we like it when people keep it real? Don’t we appreciate when people are unafraid of what anybody thinks of them? Don’t we all tell our children to “be yourself”?

I admire that the black community—just like all races—has unique cultures within the culture. The people I’m talking about here are the most kaleidoscopic storytellers—the people who keep me laughing with all the “yeast” they put in their stories. I have these people in my family, I’m friends with them, I’ve worked with them. Most importantly, I respect them. They are the griots of our time. And what is a culture if it doesn’t have people who tell amazing stories with imagination and flair?

I realize that some people don’t care to understand the beautiful intricacies that are part and parcel of black culture. It doesn’t matter because I understand, and there are countless millions who understand and appreciate who we are.

To all the Charles Ramseys, Sweet Browns, and Antoine Dodsons out there, I salute you. The people who think they’re laughing at you don’t understand that they’re laughing with you. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for showing me that I have nothing to be ashamed of.

Happy To Be Home

I haven’t posted since March 18! I can’t let the entire month of April get by me without posting something. SOC Sunday is always fun, so here goes…

I’m participating in Stream of Consciousness Sunday. This is where you write about whatever comes to mind based on a prompt by the host, Jana. Or you can write about the topic of your choice. I’m going to use Jana’s prompts. You just write for five minutes, no editing or spellchecking. As one who used to edit for a living, that is going to be impossible. I’ll give it a good shot, though.

Today’s (totally optional) prompt: Going Home

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This should be an easy topic. I say should because the notion of home usually evokes powerful feelings, whether good or bad. I had a small, but very good home to grow up in. My mother still lives in that house and it’s only 5 miles from where I live now. When I visit my mother and poke around the basement or go into a closet, some long-forgotten memory will pop up and that’s always a warm, pleasant feeling.
I have a love/hate relationship with my current home. When I married my husband, he already owned this house, so I walked into home ownership. But this is a home I never would have chosen for myself. I spent the first few years of my marriage loving my husband, but really hating the house. I would constantly refer to it as “Darius’s house.” It was hard to get comfortable here, hard to put money and effort into making it beautiful. I just wanted to get out, but that wasn’t possible.
I have evolved in my feelings, though. I’ll never be in love with this home, but I can say I do love it. My heart is here. My heart is my family. My children have a place to live that’s warm and comfortable. They’re making memories here, just like I did when I was a child. I do expect to move soon because we are quickly outgrowing this home. But every time I walk through the door, I am happy to be home.

Team Player or Lone Wolf?

So…this whole 30 in 30 thing has fallen to the wayside a bit. I haven’t given up on it, but I see that blogging every day isn’t always possible. I just can’t follow a rigid schedule. Or maybe I don’t want to. Either way, I’m going to go with this until the end of the month. I won’t beat myself up when/if I can’t post on any given day. I’m doing my best every day.

Today’s prompt: Would you rather start something on your own or as a member of a team?

I’ve said before that I’m not a person who lives my life in black-and-white. I can and have worked on my own and with a team. I’ve had good and bad experiences on both sides of the aisle. Depending on what I’m doing, I might prefer one over the other. I’m in the middle of starting a business with a few friends and it’s a perfect situation. We all have different strengths that we focus on. As it turns out, where one is weak or inexperienced, another is quite capable and willing to step up. This is a case where I’m truly happy working on a team that is wholeheartedly working on common aspirations. It would be too overwhelming to start this business by myself, and frankly, I would not do it on my own. Does that mean I’m less committed? I don’t think so. I just understand the realities of my life.

But when I write that Great American Novel…that I will do on my own!

Happy Birthday To ME!…Life Improvement Style

Today marks the beginning of my 38th year. In some ways, it’s so hard to believe. It feels like my 28th birthday was yesterday and my 18th the day before that. Time is slipping by as easily as water through a sieve. Funny…time dragged until I turned 21…

I’m in a happy, reflective mood today. As I think on my 38 years, these are things I’ve learned that I want to share with you.

  • Good friends are an elixir for the soul.
  • There’s no sweeter sound than a baby’s laughter.
  • Speaking of laughter, it’s amazing how much a good belly laugh can lift my spirits.
  • Inspiration is everywhere. I’ve found it in reality shows and social media.
  • Bought sense is expensive, but the best sense to have.
  • Everybody deserves a second chance, but not at my expense.
  • It’s an exercise in futility to try to change other people.
  • A full night of sleep and exercise are essential to good physical and mental health.
  • Most negative interactions with people should not be taken personally. 98% of the time, that person’s anger has nothing to do with me.
  • But…if people constantly express anger towards me, it’s time to self-reflect.
  • All of us are fighting our own internal battles.
  • Feeling hatred for anyone or anything hurts the hater, not the hatee.
  • It’s important to take responsibility for everything I think, say, and do.
  • A sincere apology has 3 parts: 1) What I did was wrong; 2) I take responsibility for this; and 3) This is what I will do to make it right.
  • I take care of myself before anybody else, even my children and husband.
  • That said, I don’t make their health and happiness expendable as I care for myself.
  • Words have the power of life or death.
  • There is no growth when I get stuck in my ways.
  • I make it a goal to learn something new every day.
  • Reading is essential to life well-lived.

I’m sure there’s more I’m not thinking about right now. I’d love for you to share your thoughts about what you’ve learned over the years. I’ll start a new page on this blog dedicated to life lessons.

Dear Makayla

Makayla and friends

Dear Makayla,

I published a letter to Sophia last week, so I think it’s fitting that I do a brand new one just for you.

I worried so much for you when the twins were born. In a sense, their births made you the middle child. There’s always so much hoopla with a firstborn child. I’m a firstborn, so I know that there are advantages and perks afforded to the oldest that aren’t always granted to subsequent children. I never wore hand-me-down clothing, for example. But you…that’s almost all you have! And the hoopla around multiples is even greater. I wondered, where does this leave my Makayla?

I needn’t have worried. You’ve made it clear that you will not be overlooked.

Even at almost 4-years-old, you are blazing your own path in the world. You are a take charge kinda girl. My Makayla is a leader who isn’t taking stuff from anybody. There was a moment that I knew with perfect clarity that you are not an ordinary little girl. When you were not-quite 3, you asked if you could eat a banana in my room. I said that you couldn’t and, true to form, you asked why not. Thinking I could brush you off, I said that I didn’t want any crumbs in my bed. You looked at that banana and looked back at me and said, “But bananas don’t have any crumbs.” Darn. Can’t get anything past you. I let you eat that banana in my room just because I was so impressed with your level of thinking.

I knew then that you would be a challenge to raise, but most definitely not in a bad way. You are challenging me to be more patient as a parent. For that, I thank you. I grew up in the era of parents telling their children to do what they’re told and not to ask any questions. If you opened your smart mouth to talk back, you might have gotten punched in it. (Your grandparents did not do this!) I know that you are inquisitive and curious and that you aren’t being disrespectful–you truly need an answer that makes sense.

I love that about you and it’s an honor for me to change my ingrained thinking about how children “should” behave. You were born as you are and I wouldn’t dream of trying to alter your personality. It’s hard enough to change myself; no way I’m changing you. My number one job as your mother is to make sure that I raise you to be a happy person who knows how to carry herself in the world.

Your curiosity and personality will take you places that I was too afraid to go when I was a kid. I’ll give you many pieces of advice, and here’s one piece that you’ll hear from me repeatedly: always, always use your own mind. You do this already and I hope you never lose it. Continue to question everything and everyone. Of course, there is a time and place for every conversation (and my job is to guide you through that), but remember that you can say almost anything to anyone as long as you have the spirit of inquisitiveness and respect.

I’m glad you’re you. I’m glad I’m your mother.

Love,

Momma

I Don’t Know What To Write

I’m trying to find a writing prompt and none of them, I mean not one, has captured my fancy. I don’t want to just pick one and write anyway. I have too many things to do, too much on my mind to try to dig deep to work on something I just don’t care about. Yet, I don’t want to ramble here, but that’s all I’ve got. It is my blog; I can do whatever I want.

I like the discipline that this 30 in 30 is forcing on me. But it really underscores how writing isn’t an easy endeavor. My brain freezes and I don’t find inspiration everywhere all the time. Now that I’m thinking more about not having something to write about, I think I’ll do a schedule for the rest of the month. That’s my task for tonight.